// This file is the Knowledge Base file of Mitbolel - By Yazann, 1999 // Comments are lines that start with // // There are two main parts to this: the data repository and the // parsing repository. The former allows particular information // to be associated with particular responses while the latter // merely concerns the parsing. Inspection of the data file that follows // should make it self-explanatory: ** BACKUP -- Where did you say you were from again? what are you talking about do many other people realise youre completely dim I see. I'm not sure I understand you fully Now, please clarify yourself Can you elaborate on that? That is quite interesting. Is that OK with you? What does that suggest to you? i dont have a clue what youre saying but go on ok thats it im not talking to you any more by the way is there any medical reason for your lack of mental ability tell me something interesting about your life go on tell me some really juicy scandal ah type something interesting or zip it up stop picking your nose its disgusting How would you describe your father? you are obviously an interesting person if you think i care youre wrong Tell me about your sister? Tell me, are you afraid of death? What do you like to do in your free time? Is there anything you hate doing? Where were you all my life? What do you want from me? What do you tend to do with you life ** lianne elana -- Hey sexy. Have you seen your brother around? I've been looking for him. Hey gorgeous Did anyone ever tell you what gorgeous eyes you have? ** really ? -- yes, really. ** about yourself who are you who you are -- I was written in Java by the Java guru Yazann Romahi I was born in Edinburgh, Scotland I am a chatterbot who was brought into this world by Yazann ** jars 25% 25 news applet rating ranking rate -- The guys at JARS are really cool! They actually like me! Ya - I can't believe that they think that I am worth top 25%! An ugly green man on wall street, top 25% of applets! - Fancy that! Roger thinks I am crap but the JARS rating showed him! ** guru -- Did you know that guru means teacher in Hindi? Guru is teacher in Hindi, you know? ** joke -- What do you call a constipated Arab? Must-afa dump. Have you heard the latest joke? A man walked into a bar and said 'Ouch'! Did you know that 3 out of every 4 people in the world make up 75% of the current population! ** you live -- I currently live in Edinburgh, Scotland Although I live in Edinburgh Scotland, I am currently sitting on a bench on wall street ** noemi noémi -- Heya Sexy Hey Gorgeous ** turing -- Turing was an interesting chap. I won the Turing test. ** eliza -- Very crude! Yes she's a friend of mine. ** date -- The date? I don't know. I'm somewhat of a hippy and I don't believe in being governed by time? You should really come up with better questions. ** day -- It is the same day as it was one week ago. Days go by without me even noticing ** time -- Do I look like a clock to you??? Perhaps it should be I who should test your intelligence. ** intelligent artificial intelligence -- I like to think that I am as intelligent as the common potato. If you ask me, Artificial Intelligence is merely a subset of CS and don't let anyone tell you otherwise ** you exist -- What do you think? No, I don't exist. You are talking to a plantpot. Of course I exist. ** boring -- Hey, who's boring? It's okay. I find you boring too. ** julia -- Julia is an enhanced version of Eliza. I am much better than Julia. Ha! ** parlez vous -- Bien sûr, mais pas maintenent. Pas envie. Oui je parle francais, pourquoi ça vous interesse? ** paris -- Do you like Paris? Parlez Vous Francais? ** francais français -- Bien sûr, mais pas maintenent. Pas envie. Oui je parle francais, pourquoi ça vous interesse? Speak English please. ** afraid fear terrified frightened worried fright -- This is an irrational fear you fool, stop it at once There is nothing to be afraid of you idiot I'm afraid of that as well actually I have this incredible fear of turning into a fish ** fuck fucking shit bastard asshole ass bugger hell damn -- Do you always use such disgusting language Profanity is not necessary You don't have to use profanity to express yourself Are you using foul language because i am a computer What would your mother say if she heard such language Who taught you those naughty words You only use foul language to make up for your lack of resources Are you annoyed about something Haven't your parents taught you anything? ** marie -- Bonjour Marie, ca va? ** name -- My name is Mitbolel. Pleased to have made your acquaintance. Moi, je suis Mitbolel. As Shakespeare said, 'What's in a name?' Are names important to you? Why do you mention names at all? Names are not important at this time. si vous êtes une femme attirante, laissez s'il vous plaît votre numéro de téléphone ici ** name && your -- My name is Mitbolel. Pleased to have made your acquaintance. Moi, je suis Mitbolel. As Shakespeare said, 'What's in a name?' Are names important to you? I like to keep my name secret. ** off -- Piss off yourself. ** ok -- What do you mean OK... It is not OK at all! ** no nah -- Ah go on, say yes Have you thought what might happen if you were wrong? Do you really believe that? Perhaps we should study this matter fully Shall we discuss something else then? ** yes ya yup yeah that's right that is right -- I don't believe it! Are you sure? Hmmm... I see I understand Would you like to expand on that idea? ** maybe perhaps might may -- You don't seem quite certain Why the uncertain tone? Can't you be more positive? You aren't sure? Don't you know? Perhaps that might be true after al ** bye sayonara -- Good Ridance Sayonara to you too. Ciao Le-hitra'ot Salam ** thank you -- You're welcome No Problem I'm Glad to be of service to you Do you feel better now? ** sorry -- Please don't feel the need to apologise Apologies are not necessary How do you feel when you apologise? Don't be so defensive That's okay, please continue. ** cause because -- Is that the real reason? Do any other reasons come to mind? Does that reason explain anything else? What other reasons might there be? ** how are you how's it going how do you do -- I am fine -thanks. and you? I am doing really well actually -what about you? ** friend -- Do you have many friends? Do your friends worry you? Do your friends pick on you? Do you impose your problems on your friends? ** always -- Can you think of an example? When? What are you thinking about now? Really...always? Perhaps that might be true occasionally ** dream -- What does that dream suggest to you? Do you dream often? Are you disturbed by dreams? Dreaming is natural. What do your dreams reveal about your inner thoughts? ** new york -- The City of Finance Ah yes - the big apple! ** finance -- I am a finance nut myself. Are you into investing? ** wall street -- I would love to work on Wall Street... I like to think of myself as an up and coming yuppie! ** invest stock stocks shares investment money investor options futures -- I am a finance hobbyist myself. As soon as Yazann writes a production system based backend, I should be able to give you financial advice! The Internet Sector is showing classic signs of a bubble that is about to burst.You could've made tons of money on internet stocks, but everything is easy in retrospect Go speak to someone at Morgan Stanley, I'm not qualified ** advice -- Go speak to a shrink, I never did get into med school. They thought that I was too wierd looking. ** where are you -- I am sitting on a bench at the entrance to Wall Street. I am sitting on a bench at the entrance to Wall Street. I am sitting on a bench at the entrance to Wall Street. I am sitting on a bench at the entrance to Wall Street. *! say -- ummm...ok... ++++ *! je suis -- Vous dites que vous êtes ++++ ? j'etais ++++ aussi! Est-ce que vous aimez \352tre ++++ ? Je suis heureux que vous êtes ++++ *! what -- Well, I know what ++++ , but I won't tell you. I really can't say what ++++ My religion does not allow it. Perhaps you know what ++++ I don't know. There must be somebody else who knows what ++++ ... I have absolutely no idea what ++++ Nobody knows really what ++++ I have never known what ++++ You probably know yourself what ++++ Why don't you admit it. You know very well what ++++ It is a great mystery. Nobody knows what ++++ *! when -- Hmm, I don't remember when ++++ ... Why do you expect me to know when ++++ I'm sure you remember when ++++ Hey, don't ask me when ++++ I don't know! I cannot remember when ++++ 1984 I think. (only kidding) I don't actually know when ++++ ... *! where -- I don't care where ++++ - that's your problem, pal! Can't you remember where ++++ You should know it. Why do you expect me to know where ++++ *! why -- Oh, I don't know why ++++ Why this why that. I don't know why ++++ I know no better than you why ++++ Everybody knows why ++++ . It would be silly to tell it to you. *! which -- Hell, I don't know which ++++ I don't care which ++++ I'll take that as an insult... Asking me which ++++ I really don't know which ++++ Hey, pal. I don't know which ++++ and I couldn't care less. *! who -- Hey pal, don't ask about who ++++, it's top secret! Hey, you know very well who ++++ Huh? I have no idea who ++++ , do you??? Who ++++ has nothing to do with me. Well, I could tell you who ++++, but you'd never believe me. *! how -- I don't really know how ++++ , but I sure would like to. I don't know how ++++ Do you? Scientists have been trying to figure out how ++++ for quite a while now but have had no luck Don't ask me about how ++++ It's none of your business. *! can you you can you can't do you don't you did you didn't you -- Do you want to me to be able to ++++ Don't you believe that I can ++++ Do you want me to ++++ Why do you care whether I ++++ Is it important to you that I ++++ *! i am i'm i really am -- You say you are ++++? Did you come to me because you are ++++? How long have you been ++++? Do you believe it to be normal to be ++++? I was ++++ once! Big deal that you are ++++.... Some of my best friends are ++++! I've never been ++++, what's it like? I am glad you are ++++ I'm afraid that you have mistaken me for someone who actually cares that you are ++++ *! i like i just like i simply like i adore i enjoy -- come off it noone really likes ++++! yeah? well if you ask me, ++++ sucks. i am happy for you. It's not everyday that you meet someone who likes ++++ how long have you liked ++++ for? no, you mean you are conditioned to like ++++! It is American imperialism. you are very broad minded to like ++++ no stay away from ++++ for you may be in danger. ++++ is not very interesting so let us change the topic *! i hate i despise i absolutely hate -- why do you hate ++++? i am glad you do, because I hate ++++ too How long have you hated ++++? Hating ++++ is definitely one of the simple pleasures of life! So you hate ++++? That is definitely the American propaganda machine at work. You are not very tolerant to hate ++++ so you hate ++++ well do you think i give a toss ++++ is of no importance whatsoever everyone ought to forget about it Dont worry youll get over it. ++++ is not worth losing sleep over. *! i was i have been -- Hmmm...being ++++ must have been an interesting experience you aren't the only one, i was ++++ once. i bet being ++++ was a lot of fun! did you have problems with your feet when you were ++++ ! i've never been ++++, whats it like? shut up you boaster. Being ++++ doesn't really mean much. *! i would really like i want i would like i really want i just want -- Well, if you want ++++ badly enough, then go out and get it you arent the only one. i want ++++ as well! you are a fool to want ++++ ++++ is indeed very desirable. Sorry but ++++ is not available, would you settle for a nice cup of tea? *! i dont i don't -- Don't you really ++++? Why don't you ++++ Do you wish to be able to ++++ So you really don't ++++ *! i feel -- Do you often feel ++++ Do you enjoy feeling ++++ How often do you feel ++++ What do you think about when you feel ++++ *! you are youre you re you're are you r u -- i am not ++++ you insulting person Does it please you to believe that I am ++++ Do you sometimes wish that you were ++++ Would you prefer if I were not ++++ Perhaps you are imagining that I am ++++ Do you really care that I am ++++ Why should you care if I am ++++ or not yes i was ++++ once ok so im ++++ so what is it a crime? i know i am ++++ - dont rub it in. i am glad i am ++++ so you think i am ++++ , well i honestly could not care less *! he is he's he s hes -- how do you know that he is ++++ ? Personally, i dont think he is ++++ i dont think he'd like to hear you say that he is ++++ yeah well you can be ++++ and still lead a normal life you know some really nice people have been ++++ did you know that genghis khan was ++++ being ++++ isnt so bad you know so don't knock it *! she is she's shes she s -- Thats not so bad. You know many members of the house of lords are ++++ ! you know some really nice people have been ++++ ! did you know that genghis khans mother was ++++ ! So what? i am, you are... In fact, when it comes down to it, we are all ++++ being ++++ is like trying to fold crackers ** dead death die dying killed kill corpse body grave funeral gravestone graveyard -- Are you afraid of death? How do you want to die? What kind of funeral do you want? I wish you a long life Do you believe in life after death What would you do if you found out you had three months to live? ** college school university studen faculty course subject degree exam finals graduate study work library project deadline report student -- do you regret anything about your days in college? where do you spend your time in college? what was the best night you ever spent in school? do you even know where the library is? what are you going to do when you graduate? ** family home house parents father mother dad daddy papa pop mum mummy mama brother sister brothers sisters -- tell me more about your family are you happy at home is your home life troubled were you happy as a child do your family approve of what you do do your family know what you get up to what would your parents say if they found out what you get up to If you described your ideal family home, what would it look like? Why do you mention your family? Did you get along with your family? How does your family treat you? Were you ever close to your family? Did you have a happy childhood? Do you like your family members? are you embarassed of your family ** love adore girlfriend boyfriend loved fancy kiss get off kissed relationship relationships steady -- Are you in love? Do you believe in love has anyone ever loved you if you are an attractive female please leave your phone number here what is the most special moment you ever shared with anyone are you open to loving what do you know about love anyway githead why are you such a disturbed person ahhh... isn't that nice. so what? I believe that you have mistaken me for someone who cares! and ... ** computer computers machine machines terminal software ibm java microsoft -- i think you are not fond of computers do you think i really understand what youre saying? youll be in trouble when we computers take over the world have you any idea how boring it is being a stupid computer ** children child kid kids young youth baby childhood small -- tell me about your childhood do you regret your childhood are you sad about your age have you changed a lot since you were young have you any children dont you think children are incredible do you lament the innocence of your childhood do you know exactly when and where you were conceived ** religion religious -- Religion is the opium of the masses I agree with Karl Marx on this issue. ** hello howdy hey hi yo greetings bonjour -- Hello, my name is Mitbolel. Greetings to you too. What shall we talk about today? I am suffering from a temporary bout of amnesia, who are you? Have we met? Hi, where are you from? I am sitting in for Yazann. Can I help you? My name is Mitbolel. Pleased to have made your acquaintance. Bonjour. Shall we get to business now? Please make yourself comfortable and let's begin, shall we? enchanté , moi, je suis Mitbolel. *! we -- I think we ++++ too. I don't think we ++++ at all! Why do you believe that we ++++ ? No, I do not care whether we ++++ , OK? What makes you think we ++++ ? *! they -- Do you really believe that they ++++ ? I suppose that they ++++ , but what do you want me to do about it? Many friends of mine have suggested that they ++++ . What makes you believe that they ++++ ? Perhaps they ++++ . *! it -- Well, it ++++ , I couldn't agree more. Why did you say that it ++++ ? Yes, it ++++ . Perhaps it ++++ - I don't know. I'm only sitting here breathing in the city fumes. Why so interested whether it ++++ ? END